Today I discovered a blog option on my word processing program so I thought I’d try it out. And apparently blog posts are supposed to have a title – oops. I’m not so sure I am such a fan of the title idea though, it seems a little forced. I know people who sort of live with this philosophy for communication in general, as if every conversation or interaction has to have a subject and purpose to be accomplished. It never seems very natural to me, as if they are more concerned with their achieving something than knowing you. I understand the need to be direct at times and agree with the need to be challenged and honest about things that may not easily come up in conversation, but it’s a fine line. This is a frequent problem in evangelism, I think, because people know when you have an agenda. I always know when someone has a goal for their time with me or if they just want to be with me. I feel the same with email subjects – most of the time the actual subject of my email isn’t even clear to me and probably not to the reader either. I don’t write an outline for how I’m going to have a discussion, tell someone about my life, or discuss theirs… and I don’t think it’s usually helpful to try and plan all that out. Now I’m going to have to go back and change my blog title which is no longer relevant. I was going to title it “on Florida” which was going to be my subject, but now I’ve added such a long prelude to the actual post that it’s completely different. I rest my case about why titles are pointless.
I actually began this blog in 2007 when we were about to move to China. But plans fell through and we ended up in Florida, and I thought, people don’t want to hear about Florida. But what’s so much more exciting about China? It’s just another place to think about life, and why we’re here and what we are supposed to be doing, and trying to do it, whatever it is. And Florida turned out to be very different than I imagined. We arrived there in crisis and all our thoughts were on weathering the storm and getting out. We had our minds set on living overseas and decided we would just get through this setback and move on. So when, through a series of miracles, we emerged from our depression, economic and emotional, we followed a lead to move again. I was searching for something, somewhere, that would make me feel comfortable and accepted. I was so certain I would find it internationally and my impatience kept me from seeing how God had already put the people in my life that I had been searching for. I was still set on leaving, and did so. We spent a long, wonderful summer, traveling, camping, visiting old friends and making new ones, celebrating rites of passage and enjoying the familiarity of home. We flew over oceans and rode trains across countries and ended up in Ghana where we thought we would stay. Only then did we see that what we had been looking for had been right in front of us. In Florida we had been near John’s parents and made the best friends who accepted me just as I am; Angie, the free spirited sister of my soul – we seem to have some mental connection that is unexplainable, and Lesa, a role model of motherhood, committed friend, sister, sounding board for all my ridiculous thoughts and the Martha Stewart of my life (we seriously miss your cooking too…and Chris Baker’s cookies), a wonderful small group and connections that we know will be long lasting. You have no idea how many times I’ve looked over the scrapbook you made us and thank God for each of you there. I know that we’ll never feel completely comfortable or accepted on earth because it isn’t our home. And what we strive for is not to achieve a goal, there is no goal to reach, there are only relationships to build on, new people to meet, things to think about and rethink, love to pursue, and trying to figure out how to live right and help others. So I see that Florida, for us, was the unplanned plan God had for us. Isn’t it funny how the things we think are the biggest mistakes turn into our best memories?
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